Week 5 Story: Two Brothers - Retold

Here I am. A bull, about to be sacrificed on the orders of a woman I once called wife. Typical marriage, I know. I bet you're wondering how I got here. Well buckle up, sister. This is going to be a roller coaster of a emotion.

It all started two years ago. It was myself, Bartholomew, and my brother, Abraham, and his stupid. no-good wife, whose name shall not be uttered in MY STORY.

We had a good thing going there for a little while. I worked my brother's field. In exchange, he let me stay at his crib. It wasn't the nicest place in the world, but I had a bed and three meals a day. In ancient Egypt, that's not an easy thing to come by.

One day, I'm working the field and Abraham asks me to grab some seed for him.

And I'm like "I got you, bro."

So I go to grab this seed, and when I get inside to grab it, Abraham's wife is there. And she's giving me this look. And I don't like it at all.

So I say "Hey.... What's up?"

She responds "Bart, we know who the real man is around here. You do all the hard work. We would be nothing without you. I've been watching you, and admiring you from a distance for quite a while now. Stay here with me for a little longer. I'll clean you up real nice."

YES.  YES. This two-faced witch is trying to SEDUCE ME. My own brother's wife.

Is that not disgusting?

Being the gentleman I am, I let her down easy.

"OH GOD NO. YOU'RE LIKE MY MOM! Don't you ever speak to me like that again. You are evil!"

I leave, and go about my business.

Well APPARENTLY, she told my brother a different story.

And this is the worst part. He believed her. She told him that I was the one who tried to seduce her and when she refused, I struck her.

Not only did he believe her, he was gonna try and kill me. I can't fight my own brother, so I did the sensible thing and ran. He chased after me, knife in hand, ready to ruin everything we have worked for.

I prayed to Ra. "Please Ra, help me settle things with my brother so I don't have to put the whoppin' on him."

Here's the crazy part. RA HEARD ME! He appeared in the sky. He caused a river to flow and separate me from my brother and filled it with crocs so Abraham could not cross it.

Crocs

Absolutely terrifying.

Ra told Abraham everything. We went our separate ways, but I knew I would see him again.

I left my home and went to live under a big ass tree in the middle of nowhere. But being stronger than any man alive, I did just fine.

I built a home for myself and planted vegetables and crops. Ra made and delivered a wife for me, and we were happy. Truly happy.

But you can't have the cake and eat it.

 Because Ra himself sculpted my wife, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even the sea spirits grew envious and sought to take her away from me.

One day, I went on a hunt and my wife ventured outside of our house. And the tide approached our house and the spirits of the sea tried to take her away from me. But she wouldn't go. However, the spirits managed to grab one lock of her hair. And that is what ruined everything.

That lock of hair managed to find it's way to the hands of the king himself, and with one sniff, he fell in love.

ALL HE DID WAS SNIFF HER HAIR! He doesn't know what she looks like, or her personality. He fell in love because of a couple strands of hair.

Whatever. I'm not still angry about it.

So the king sends all manner of people to search for my wife, scribes, messengers, soldiers, and women. And it was a woman who found her, and brought her back to the king. They snuck away while I was out hunting. I came back to find her gone.

My heart couldn't take it. It gave out, and I died right there.

How am I still telling you all this, you may ask?

Don't get nosy, you'll find it eventually.

My brother found a way to revive me using the ancient Acacia tree, and we were united again. I wanted nothing more to return to a simple life with my brother. But I had some business to take care of first. John Wick style...

I made my way to the kingdom my wife had left me for.

I had to find a way to get close to my wife in the palace of the king, without anyone noticing. So I transformed into a mighty bull. I made my way through the streets and not a single person stopped and thought "I wonder whose bull that is..."

Don't ask because I don't know how I did it either. It happened, we're moving on.

I got close to my wife and revealed myself to her.

GET THIS! SHE TOLD THE KING TO SACRIFICE ME!

She felt so guilty, that she just wanted to see me dead.

So here I am. About to be sacrificed by the woman I once loved. Typical marriage.

If this teaches you anything, let it be this.

These Egyptians are NOT LOYAL.

Who knows what happens next. I might mess around and turn myself into a tree. You never know!

Well, wish me luck!

THE END 

Author's note: 

Hey! Thanks for reading. This is definitely not my best work, but I hoped it made you laugh at least twice. I read the two brother's from the Ancient Egypt Myths and Stories and I just thought it was so weird. Like, there was no way you could guess what was going to happen next. So I put a little bit of a spin on it. I changed some names around, and wrote it like it happened today. I cut it pretty short, because I was reaching my word count, but I think it ended up being a nice little cliffhanger.

Bibliography: 

The Two Brothers
Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie
http://mythfolklore.blogspot.com/2014/06/egypt-two-brothers-part-one.html